i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
