last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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