So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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