I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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