And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
