I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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