Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
