i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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