That's intense
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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