Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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