if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
