Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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