haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize