Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
3 2 1 whiskey
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
