I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
