Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
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btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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