Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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