I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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