I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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