i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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