Porn is love you can see.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
