so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
P.S. I can't hear my feet
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
