Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
