dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize