everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
