how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize