it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
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I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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