Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
