I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
false alarm, still single
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
