Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Ketchup is God's man juice
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize