I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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