Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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