i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
