sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
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You have to summon your inner elephant
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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