Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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