We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
