my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
