I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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