he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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