I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize