He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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