his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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