Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
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We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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