eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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