I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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