is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
