i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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