My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
