margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
