im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
