I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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