There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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