I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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