You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
