you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
