How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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