The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
