I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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