You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
