You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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